Things are looking REALLY bad. I'm one the verge of firing my lawyer for excessive charges in his billing that eat up my retainer faster than I can produce money - with very little return on my investment. In addition, his non-performance of requested actions, starting fights with my soon to be ex-wife, and worst of all, he slipped in one of our sessions and admitted to "'sleeping' with the enemy" - my wife's lawyer. He didn't bed her, but what flushed out is that in this little town the hearing is a "formality" to announce the decision that has already been made between the lawyers and judges over a game of golf, drinks, dinner, lunch, or some other "social 'business' meeting".
They're all in it together to make money and justify their existence and expand their domain to make even more money. The real losers are - the family in the unfamily court system. From the feedback I've heard over the years the system pretty much works the same all over. And we thought we'd "have our day in court" and "justice" (more like injustice) would prevail. No it's only power hungry, money grubbing people that have been sanctioned by a city, county, state, or federal government to pretend to be concerned about the "rights" of all involved and making an "unbiased" decision based on "facts". I've yet to see that happen in the 15 years I've had to deal with the injustice system.
If we weren't so close to a hearing and I hadn't already spent a large amount of money - nothing compared to what I'm going to get stuck with latter on in the process, I would fire him. On the practical side who would I hire - just another one of the lawyers in the "gang".
When I examined his bill I noticed my lawyer was charging me a nickel a page for copies made for my case, a few pennies for each staple and paper clip used, pencils and pens used, etc. During our meetings he would request large numbers of documents that I would dig up organize and even put them in folders for him with a table of contents to help him quickly locate a document. During our sessions he would spend half the time reviewing the material while I waited, then discuss the material and of course we'd run out of time and have to schedule another session, which was repeated over and over.
In our last session I dropped a box of office supplies on his desk with my name on it. In the box was a stapler and staples, paperclips, copy paper, folders, pencils and pens, and some other assorted items. He just gave me a blank, imbecilic look and I explained that he was going to back off the charges for office supplies on his bill and in the future, use these supplies for my case. I told him I expected these minor items to be covered in his standard fee.
I also had him adjust the bill for all the wasted time he spent in our conferences not being prepared, using the first 15 minutes to prepare himself. Many times, covering items we had already covered last time. I had him back off the phone calls at 15 minutes each because he was too lazy to look in the folders for his answer or we had already discussed it in our conference and he failed to take notes. He would call me at work and leave a message of less than a minute. I would call back and we would spend less than two minutes on the phone to give him and answer he should already have. In return he'd bill me for 15 minutes of phone conference time.
My soon to be ex-wife's lawyer, I call her the "pit bull", has been creating a very hostile environment and trying to use access to my children as a bargaining tool. I refuse to participate in this type of extortion and as a result, my visitations and time with my sons has been severely curtailed even though such a move is in violation of the law - for what that's worth. Not much when you're dad.
My soon to be ex-wife is taking her cues from the "pit bull" and has become most uncooperative and very unrealistic in her demands.
Worst of all, my children are upset with the entire situation and nobody seems to care even though their hypocritical mantra is "for the children". There was some humor in the situation - a co-worker found a joke that applied to the situation: "What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?" "LIPSTICK!".
I've been looking ahead a little to see just how big and how bad the enemy is. I've heard from other people about the next "wonderful" organization that steps in to continue the abuse - Support Enforcement.
This isn't the way it was suppose to happen - it was a simple, non-contested divorce to make a course correction for all of us and we were to move on with our new lives. I see "red flags" everywhere - what a MESS!
Another bright note, my soon to be ex-wife had to spill the beans to her family. They were pissed, not at me but at her for the problems she caused and not being willing to work our issues out in counseling. I actually got a not from her sister apologizing for her and letting me know they were hoping we could work things out. Of course this really pissed off my soon to be ex-wife since she got an ear full and ass chewing from her mother.
Perhaps we can negotiate some reasonable agreement since everybody claims to be "concerned foremost with the children" - right. It's looking more like how can we use them as an excuse to make me comply with unreasonable demands and justify their unwarranted and illegal actions.
Although, my soon to be ex-wife is starting to leave voice mails and send cards and letters indicating that she may have learned her lesson and wants this all to end. How many times must one endure "for better or worse". I am having a very hard time leaving my children and being separated from them. This has always broken my resolve in the past and she knows it. How much will one endure for their children.
I know if I go back she will make me pay a huge price for "embarrassing" her in front of friends, family, and neighbors by moving out and filing for divorce.
How can you every trust someone who has manipulated, controlled, abused, been so ungrateful, and even tried to kill you to collect your insurance? On the surface she puts on this mask of innocence and helplessness, a poor faithful, loving wife and mother struggling to "hold the family together" while her ass of a husband just throws it all away. At the same time, she presents this image to everyone else she confesses in her letters to me she "confesses" her crimes against me and promises to do better. She promises many desperate things in an effort to not end our marriage.
This woman has some serious, untreated mental issues. When our counselors would get near to these issues she would terminate the sessions with the counselor declaring she could resolve all the remaining issues. I recall one session in particular when the counselor was getting too close to her deep, dark secrets, she stood up and declared, "I'm waiting for the counselor to tell you that you're the one with all the problems. I don't have any problems, I'm just here to support you in the sessions." The counselor was taken aback and I just laughed, telling her that her statement declares she has some serious problems. We all have issues and problems to deal with, it's how we deal with them and attain balance our lives. These things will ether break us or make us stronger.
ARTICLES:
Severe Sociopaths Oppose PAS
Red Tape
Girl Victim In Support Enforcement Identity Theft
Why Parental Alienation is Emotional Abuse
One Big Problem
Suspended Lawyer Pleads Insanity
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