The hearing, or the announcement of the predetermined judgment by the judge and lawyers was issued in the form of a "temporary" order that always, becomes permanent. My soon to be ex-wife and her "pit-bill" lawyer have managed to create such a hostile environment I haven't been able to see my children without the possibility of being jailed. With the new "domestic violence" laws and the perverted form that the state has framed them, all it takes is an accusation even if I'm not present and I go to jail.
At the same time, they make an appeal and pleading to the court to do something so I take more interest in my children and visit them. Of course, larger awards are granted if dad isn't a part of the children's lives and mom "has to do it all". Reminds me of the Don Henley song, "Get Over It":
At the same time, they make an appeal and pleading to the court to do something so I take more interest in my children and visit them. Of course, larger awards are granted if dad isn't a part of the children's lives and mom "has to do it all". Reminds me of the Don Henley song, "Get Over It":
I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin’ ’don’t blame me’
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma’s too thin; your daddy’s too fat...
You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing...
You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak...
You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick it’s little ass
Get over it...
In addition to my lack of "interest" and visitations with my children, the "pit-bull" and my soon to be ex contrived a very favorable situation for her to gain a larger sum of money. The "pit-bull" had my soon to be ex resign from her position at the state university and claim that she couldn't work out a schedule with the chancellor's office that would allow her to complete her degree at the university - what ever major she is at the moment. She has had seven years now to complete a degree and has wobbled all over the place. Ignore the fact that the chancellor's office is the most powerful office within the university system and her former boss had her work scheduled modified to finish her degree.
The university made it too easy to change majors and classes over the phone. Not like the old way of having to see your advisor and getting him to sign a form and meeting with the new advisor for his signature. Then, off to admissions to get the last signature, pay the fee, and make the change official. Over the past six years she has flip flopped all over the place with a major and classes. So much time has been wasted with changes and very little progress has been made towards the degree. I would come home some days and she had changed her major and classes as many as six times in one day over the phone. I stopped counting she changed so much. When it was actually time to start school, she had to hold the Guinness's Book of World records for number of changes in majors and classes. After a week of classes and another hundred changes she couldn't get into her new classes because they were full so she'd drop out of school and start paying the student loan back with the intent of starting the next session.
They presented to the court the "poor struggling mom" who hadn't finished her education like I had. She put me through school and now I'm abandoning the family, she was unemployed (even though she voluntarily terminated), and she needed time to finish her psychology degree to make her more marketable.
Never mind she had at least sixteen plus years in business and office administration, dictation, short hand, accounting and bookkeeping, could type accurately 80-100 words per minute and a whole host of other marketable office skills. These skills had landed positions with generous benefits paying $30-35K a year. Unless she finished a doctorate in psychology her salary would struggle to rise above $24K per year.
As it would be revealed many years later, she would end up as an Assistant to the Dean making between $50-60K per year and full state benefits. Not to mention the ten thousand paid holidays, paid vacation, sick leave, state retirement, automatic pay increases not for performance, but longevity along with all the other perks associated with a cushy, secure (as you can get), state job at a major university.
What the "pit-bull" didn't count on was my challenge to the accusations and that I had documentation to validate my position.
The first challenge was her "loss of income" due to being "laid off". In her perjured, sworn and notarized statement of financial affairs, she was still employed the prior week before the hearing. That is until the previous Friday. When she was cornered on the exact date of her separation and the circumstances it finally smoked out that she voluntarily resigned.
When pressed about the perjured financial statement and the bias remarks she inserted to influence the court, the judge told my lawyer to back off since it upset her.
Never mind she admitted that even though she was suppose to put the actual values for her expenses on the financial disclosure, she had put what she wanted them to be. When the totals for all the categories were calculated, it was discovered she was spending at least $1500 per month more than she had available. One category, clothing, she claimed to spend $800 per month for our four sons. Then she inserted the remark, "The Children are in desperate need of winter clothes". Funny we never spent that when we were together. Maybe $200-300 at the start of school and a few other times during the year, but not $800 per month, EVERY month - we shopped at Target and Wal-Mart, NOT Macy's!
I had wanted to change careers a few months back and would have made about the same level of income, but I was threatened by the court and the lawyers with a contempt and fraud charge because it would have the appearance I was "dodging my responsibilities". I explained I was employed in my current field because of the manipulations of my soon to be ex and I wanted to move to a different field that would have equivalent pay and was more compatible with my long range goals.
Of course she got nothing but sympathy from the court and a larger award.
The next challenge I presented was the claim of putting me through school. I worked a full time job, a part time job, and went to school full time sleeping about three hours a day for six and one half years. Yes, she did work some in the latter part of my education and I did pull back from full time to 3/4 time and a part time job while going to school full time. This was to allow for more time for the tougher, more time consuming upper level courses.
I produced the tax returns and the W2's to validate my position. The court just dismissed them as "irrelevant".
When the court was done they had assessed me for 110% of my gross income. When I pointed this out, the court and the "pit-bull" told me to get a part-time job. I pointed out it was against my current employer's policy to allow employees in our division to have a second job. We were on-call seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day and compensated for the requirement. In addition, I was not only commanding an above average salary, but the assessment was unattainable since it was more than my gross income and I couldn't work a second job. In addition, I had to pay rent, utilities, food, and had other debts that had to be serviced.
The state had the unrealistic idea of "maintaining the same standard of living for the children" even though the income levels had changed and now two households had to be maintained from the same income.
The court reconsidered and much to the disgruntlement of the "pit-bull" and my soon to be ex adjusted my judgment to 90% of my gross income.
Of Course, the court and the "pit-bull" made no effort to allow access to my children. If they did then I would owe less money. Never mind they and my soon to be ex are fracturing the parent child bond between us. This is legalized child abuse and denial of parental rights. Welcome to the world of the perverted system. As one lawyer pointed out, "it's not about justice, right or wrong, good or evil, it's just a system and a very broken one at that."
On the way out of the courtroom my lawyer patted himself on the back for such a good job. I fired his ass leaving him standing on the street corner in the rain. I later reported him to the bar, but like all the other scum bags that support the system, they just made excuses and dismissed the issue.
Reminds me of another Don Henley song, "End of Innocence":
Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standing by
When "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details...
But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by man...
Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details...
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence
I'm having to look at some other options. In this state, if you don't pay 100% of the court order it's the same as not paying at all, even if you somehow make 95% of the payment. Never mind that the order is unattainable and you've been classified as a "deadbeat, asshole, scumbag dad" and get what ever you deserve. This means jail time, garnishment of your paycheck and the stigma associated with the garnishment and many times loss of employment, loss of security clearances needed to remain employed, seizure of your unemployment and food stamps, seizure of your IRA, 401(k), or any other retirement funds, seizure of any other income such as rent, royalties, and bonuses, suspension of driver's and professional licenses, seizure of property, bank accounts, and tax returns, denial of passports, fines, labeling you as a "deadbeat dad" and posting your picture on Web sites, billboards, bumper stickers, etc. and of course continuing to assess you for current and back child support and 28% interest EVEN though you've been stripped of the resources to pay because you couldn't comply with the unrealistic and unattainable demands of the "unfamily" court and the system that supports it.
I will learn and experience later that Support Enforcement doesn't need a court order to do these things - they've been granted the power to execute enforcement actions without the "interference" of the court. A minimally trained clerk just fills out the form justified or not, correct or not and it will take months before the unfamily court hears the complaint. In the meantime, you and yours get to suffer the consequences from the actions. When the unfamily court finally hears the issue, even though they find it was unjustified or incorrect, at best you'll get a new order with no penalties against Support Enforcement - of course, it's just a show since they support each other and are accountable to none but themselves.
I will do all I can to support my children and be part of their lives even if I have to do it out of reach of the "pit-bull", my soon to be ex, and the injustice system. I will not submit to the abusive and unjust treatment from the system and I will fight them until the end.
I found a picture that represents the mold they're trying to force me into:
ARTICLES:
Stealing The Minds of Our Children
Vengeful Mothers Deny Fathers
Turning Children Into Tools of Hate
Grandparents Ask for Access
Deadbeat Dads
