As it turns out, my children didn't want me to take all the animals so I left our cat for them. They had grown very attached to our Shelties, but I had caught my soon to be ex-wife physically abusing them and had warned her the next time I would file a complaint with the police for animal cruelty. She hated dogs worse than cats, but for the most part our cat stayed out of the way in the children's room when he was inside and spent part of his time outside. With the children so protective of him it seemed he would be safer than the dogs.
It started out as a turbulent, hectic morning with more degrading, threatening calls from my soon to be ex-wife on my voice mail. I have taken most of the week off to take care of legal matters and try to get things settled down as much as possible. I'm on the way to see the lawyer for the first in person conference. I had to leave my dogs in the cabin, but they're housebroken and I left paper in the corner if they need to go. They sensed the tension and unhappiness and tried to comfort me with understanding thoughts and stares through the night and this morning. I didn't sleep well in spite of the peaceful location in the mountains.
I had researched the matter and after a discussion with my spouse thought I had her agreement to a non-contested divorce using one lawyer to take care of the legal paperwork and advise us of any details that needed our attention. If this could remain uncontested we could complete the divorce after the 90 day waiting period and then all of us could move past this turbulent time into a period of healing and rebuilding our new lives. According to the counselors, this was the best path for all of us, especially the children. According to my personal experience with this as a young preteen it was a very traumatic experience. I was sure with the support of both parents and help from counselors we could eventually help our children through these tough times.
Then came the reality check at the lawyer's office. These pictures capture the events that unfolded during my first visit and only got worse as the years progressed.
A host of new laws had been introduced by special interest groups from all types of supporters and were still being defined concerning divorce and child support. All the laws claimed to "put the children first". For more than 14 years I've heard this mantra from the supporters and benefactors of the perverse UnFamily court, the lawyers in the system, Support Enforcement, and those that sacrifice their children to the system as an offering to be accepted into the "guild of thieves, liars, and hypocrites". What I've learned is that "justice" is truly "blind" - It turns a blind eye to the violations of the law by the judges, lawyers, Support Enforcement, special interest groups, and the patrons (usually the mothers) that sell their "soul" and "sacrifice" their children in exchange for a "drink" from the foul cup of extortion, slavery, impoverishment, wrongful conviction of "crimes" not committed, slander and liable, judicial kidnapping, imposition of an unreasonable sentences, and if there is a second family the passing of the same punishment on them.
The main benefactors are the system, gaining tax dollars (funds) to expand their "domain" and power, the companies servicing the Support Enforcement contracts (you didn't think those were state workers did you? - NO! They're a contracted collection agency - PSI being the largest), and of course the custodial parent which in the large majority of the cases is mom. Forbid Dad is qualified or given custody - he's just not equipped according to the "experts" and special interest groups.
The main benefactors are the system, gaining tax dollars (funds) to expand their "domain" and power, the companies servicing the Support Enforcement contracts (you didn't think those were state workers did you? - NO! They're a contracted collection agency - PSI being the largest), and of course the custodial parent which in the large majority of the cases is mom. Forbid Dad is qualified or given custody - he's just not equipped according to the "experts" and special interest groups.
I had created what seemed to be an objective proposal to cover all the areas - separation of property, visitation and parental responsibilities, child support, medical and dental support, possible maintenance although I was more in favor of paying more to child support, support of counseling for all parties, disposal of our house and the redistribution of any profits - most of it going to my spouse to help house our children, and a whole host of other items. The lawyer looked the proposal over and just laughed.
"You truly don't have a clue about this do you". Red flags went up, I didn't like the sound of that. I asked him to explain, but first he wanted the name of my spouse's lawyer. "She doesn't have one", I replied as more red flags went up. I was getting a very bad feeling about the situation. My lawyer perked up when he heard my response and said, "we should strike quickly before she gets one!". I stopped him in his tracks and explained she doesn't need one and this is to be a non-contested divorce. We just needed him to take care of the legal paperwork, review our proposals we would submit to the court for items the court may disagree with and alter, and to guide us through the process. He was not to speak directly to my spouse, I would be the mediator with all issues - I didn't want an "incident" because of something he said. The situation was already volatile enough and I didn't need a third party screwing things up.
I had dampened his "spirit" with setting the terms and conditions. Not giving up, my lawyer told me, "look, this is a time of temporary insanity. I'm here to help you through this time so just leave everything up to me, trust me, and I'll get you through this!". Right, right, I thought - just trust this lawyer with my life and my family - that's a no brainer. Snapping back I told him, "I take care of myself and I certainly wouldn't trust a lawyer with my life and future WITHOUT my close supervision. I'm the paying customer here and I'm telling you what services I want. If you can't or are unwilling to provide them I will go elsewhere."
"You truly don't have a clue about this do you". Red flags went up, I didn't like the sound of that. I asked him to explain, but first he wanted the name of my spouse's lawyer. "She doesn't have one", I replied as more red flags went up. I was getting a very bad feeling about the situation. My lawyer perked up when he heard my response and said, "we should strike quickly before she gets one!". I stopped him in his tracks and explained she doesn't need one and this is to be a non-contested divorce. We just needed him to take care of the legal paperwork, review our proposals we would submit to the court for items the court may disagree with and alter, and to guide us through the process. He was not to speak directly to my spouse, I would be the mediator with all issues - I didn't want an "incident" because of something he said. The situation was already volatile enough and I didn't need a third party screwing things up.
I had dampened his "spirit" with setting the terms and conditions. Not giving up, my lawyer told me, "look, this is a time of temporary insanity. I'm here to help you through this time so just leave everything up to me, trust me, and I'll get you through this!". Right, right, I thought - just trust this lawyer with my life and my family - that's a no brainer. Snapping back I told him, "I take care of myself and I certainly wouldn't trust a lawyer with my life and future WITHOUT my close supervision. I'm the paying customer here and I'm telling you what services I want. If you can't or are unwilling to provide them I will go elsewhere."
Taken aback, my lawyer told me, "nobody has talked to me like that! I have the legal training and know the law, but if you insist I'll honor your request. Here's a list of items I need for our next meeting in two days to complete the initial paperwork and calculations. See my receptionist to make an appointment." I looked at the two page list and thought maybe I should take the entire week off. I'm going to have to dig through all the boxes in my storage shed to find these. As I left, my lawyer told me to think about what he said and perhaps I would see things differently next time. I set my next appointment and stopped by my storage shed. Fours hours later I emerged with all the required paperwork and locked the door.
I was hungry, maybe some Popeye's chicken would hit the spot. It was getting late and I had a 45 minute drive back to the cabin. My pager went off letting me know I had gotten another voicemail. I was around the corner from work, maybe I could sneak in and check my messages undetected - I was detected and got hung up with more messages from my soon to be ex-wife and questions from some co-workers.
Finally, I got out of work and headed to the cabin without my Popeye's - I'd eat some food at the cabin. The dogs had been cooped up for almost 8 hours. I envisioned dog pee and poop all over the cabin. I had left water and dry food in their bowls. I was suppose to have time off to recompose myself and regroup - things just weren't turning out "right".
It was dark and cold when I arrived at the cabin. When I had left, my dogs were on my winter sleeping bag on the bed. I opened the door to the cabin and found them hiding under the bed - something they did when they were in trouble or had done something they knew they weren't suppose to do. I figured they had relieved themselves in the cabin. I took them out and apologized to them for being so long. When they were done, we went in and ate. I looked all over the cabin and didn't find one drop of pee or dog poop. I couldn't figure out why they were acting so "guilty".
We spent a little time in front of the fire "talking" and enjoying our time together. I was tired and ready for bed. I opened the sleeping bag and found dog poop on my pillow. I noticed the bottom of my sleeping bag was soaked with dog pee. I looked at my dogs and they hung their guilty heads down, bodies shaking. I laughed at the message - they were "pissed off" that I took so long and weren't going to take this "sh*t" any more. I got the message and promised I wouldn't do it again. I set the bag aside, stoked up the fire and dug out some blankets. We all drifted off to sleep watching the flames dancing on the wall.
I was hungry, maybe some Popeye's chicken would hit the spot. It was getting late and I had a 45 minute drive back to the cabin. My pager went off letting me know I had gotten another voicemail. I was around the corner from work, maybe I could sneak in and check my messages undetected - I was detected and got hung up with more messages from my soon to be ex-wife and questions from some co-workers.
Finally, I got out of work and headed to the cabin without my Popeye's - I'd eat some food at the cabin. The dogs had been cooped up for almost 8 hours. I envisioned dog pee and poop all over the cabin. I had left water and dry food in their bowls. I was suppose to have time off to recompose myself and regroup - things just weren't turning out "right".
It was dark and cold when I arrived at the cabin. When I had left, my dogs were on my winter sleeping bag on the bed. I opened the door to the cabin and found them hiding under the bed - something they did when they were in trouble or had done something they knew they weren't suppose to do. I figured they had relieved themselves in the cabin. I took them out and apologized to them for being so long. When they were done, we went in and ate. I looked all over the cabin and didn't find one drop of pee or dog poop. I couldn't figure out why they were acting so "guilty".
We spent a little time in front of the fire "talking" and enjoying our time together. I was tired and ready for bed. I opened the sleeping bag and found dog poop on my pillow. I noticed the bottom of my sleeping bag was soaked with dog pee. I looked at my dogs and they hung their guilty heads down, bodies shaking. I laughed at the message - they were "pissed off" that I took so long and weren't going to take this "sh*t" any more. I got the message and promised I wouldn't do it again. I set the bag aside, stoked up the fire and dug out some blankets. We all drifted off to sleep watching the flames dancing on the wall.
My lawyer on that rare occasion had spoken words of truth, I truly didn't have a clue about the situation, issues, special interests, or the destructive path that we had taken. Looking back, as damaging as the act is to all parties to break up a family, the corrupt and perverse system reeks more total chaos, havoc, destruction, horrors, and cataclysmic destruction than the act of the break up. Worse yet, the system is set up as a "profit" center for this most darkest events to happen in your life and does so for the rest of your life.
ARTICLES:
Stealing The Minds of Our Children
Why is Daddy in Jail?
Man Jailed For Not Supporting Child That Wasn't His
Terms of Estrangement
Georgia Child Support Unconstitutional
Tennessee Child Support Unconstitutional
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