End of Innocence - Aug 1996 - Dec 1996

After the hearing, things have become very turbulent.  I have been handed a ruling beyond my ability to comply and my soon to be ex and her pit bull lawyer have become more hostile and unreasonable.

Right now I'm struggling with the emotions of being separated from my children.  I could have left my ex long ago, but I stayed for the children and the hope that someday my ex would help work through the issues.

What I got for my 16 years of trying to work through things, including the last three with professional counseling was a huge disappointment, denial of access to my children, a legal ruling and prohibitions that bound me to impossible conditions.  The conditions would incarcerate me if the current trend to jail "dead beat dads" continued.

My soon to be ex was introducing the elements of parental alienation.  I worked varied shifts and days.  Many times she would call just before one of our children's events at school and tell me about the event even though she had known 1-2 weeks ahead of time.  She knew most of the time I couldn't get off work with that short of a notice.  She would tell my children, "See your father doesn't care enough about you to show up or pay his child support."  Even though both were lies and both were documented.

She didn't have to worry, she had the protection of the unfamily courts and later Child Support Enforcement.  She got what every she wanted and could do anything she wanted with their backing.

 As the next few months wore on and the battles continued, I took my vacation and comp time to move out of state and put some distance between the conflict.  It was getting way out of hand and very hostile.  I tried to get a leave of absence, but my company wouldn't grant one.  I had intended to move closer to my parents in the Southeast.  Perhaps with the geographic buffer things would cool down and I would get my visitations again.

As I was to learn later, the less Dad was involved with his children the larger child support award Mom would get.  The objective was to shut Dad completely out of the picture so Mom had complete control of the children and enough money she wouldn't have to work.

I painfully learned later that the other objective was to make life so hard for me I'd come back and if I didn't I'd be punished.  I had embarrassed her by filing for a divorce, how dare I!  Her lawyer, the unfamily courts, and later Support Enforcement would support her in these efforts.  She just had to agree to prostitute herself as their poster child.

When I arrived at my parents, my mother gave me a letter my ex had written to them pleading for their help getting me to return to my "loving family".  I really missed my sons and it sounded like she had finally recognized the issues we had with a willingness to work through them.  I had heard it many times before, but I really didn't want to leave them.

 After some phone calls and verbal agreements, I agreed to return only with certain conditions.  First and foremost was getting us back to counseling to help us through our issues.  I couldn't stand the thought of going through this nightmare again.

My parents were of course concerned about my returning to the clutches of my evil ex, but they understood if there was a chance to salvage the relationship I would do so to be with my children.

We reluctantly parted and I began my return trip.  It was a joyful reunion, almost a year apart and I had missed so much.  It was only the forerunner of the future.

A few days after I had returned, I asked my ex what she had told our friends and her family.  She casually replied, "That you were having a mid-life crisis."

I was shocked, but not surprised.  She couldn't even admit to those that were close to us that we were having problems.  The blame was entirely on me!  Another omen of the future.

Reminds me of the Don Henley song, "The End of Innocence":

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standing by
When "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly
But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by man
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass waves in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence...

We finished the rest of the year and into the first part of 1997 with all of us trying (or at least pretending in her case) to do our best as a family.  That would end soon, she had another plan that she was waiting to spring as soon as she thought I was settled and wouldn't leave.

I noticed that she continually put off attending counseling again using the holidays as an excuse.  I made a compromise that within the first two weeks of January we'd be in counseling.  She made a vague commitment that I let slide.  I wanted to enjoy my time at home and with my children.  I'd worry about it later too.

I couldn't see it, but I had an uneasy feeling about the storm just over the horizon.  I tried my best to shut out the thoughts over the holidays...why spoil them?

ARTICLES:

Gender Bias In The Unfamily Courts

Denver Post PAS Article 

Federal Scheme To Destroy Father

Fathers and Families Win Victory Over CSE

PAS Emotional Abuse

PAS Diagnosis

Get Over It! - 8/23/96

The hearing, or the announcement of the predetermined judgment by the judge and lawyers was issued in the form of a "temporary" order that always, becomes permanent.  My soon to be ex-wife and her "pit-bill" lawyer have managed to create such a hostile environment I haven't been able to see my children without the possibility of being jailed.  With the new "domestic violence" laws and the perverted form that the state has framed them, all it takes is an accusation even if I'm not present and I go to jail. 

At the same time, they make an appeal and pleading to the court to do something so I take more interest in my children and visit them.  Of course, larger awards are granted if dad isn't a part of the children's lives and mom "has to do it all".  Reminds me of the Don Henley song, "Get Over It":

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin’ ’don’t blame me’
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma’s too thin; your daddy’s too fat...

You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing...

You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak...

You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick it’s little ass

Get over it...

In addition to my lack of "interest" and visitations with my children, the "pit-bull" and my soon to be ex contrived a very favorable situation for her to gain a larger sum of money.  The "pit-bull" had my soon to be ex resign from her position at the state university and claim that she couldn't work out a schedule with the chancellor's office that would allow her to complete her degree at the university - what ever major she is at the moment.  She has had seven years now to complete a degree and has wobbled all over the place.  Ignore the fact that the chancellor's office is the most powerful office within the university system and her former boss had her work scheduled modified to finish her degree.

The university made it too easy to change majors and classes over the phone.  Not like the old way of having to see your advisor and getting him to sign a form and meeting with the new advisor for his signature.  Then, off to admissions to get the last signature, pay the fee, and make the change official.  Over the past six years she has flip flopped all over the place with a major and classes.  So much time has been wasted with changes and very little progress has been made towards the degree.  I would come home some days and she had changed her major and classes as many as six times in one day over the phone.  I stopped counting she changed so much.  When it was actually time to start school, she had to hold the Guinness's Book of World records for number of changes in majors and classes.  After a week of classes and another hundred changes she couldn't get into her new classes because they were full so she'd drop out of school and start paying the student loan back with the intent of starting the next session.

They presented to the court the "poor struggling mom" who hadn't finished her education like I had.  She put me through school and now I'm abandoning the family, she was unemployed (even though she voluntarily terminated), and she needed time to finish her psychology degree to make her more marketable.

Never mind she had at least sixteen plus years in business and office administration, dictation, short hand, accounting and bookkeeping, could type accurately 80-100 words per minute and a whole host of other marketable office skills.  These skills had landed positions with generous benefits paying $30-35K a year.  Unless she finished a doctorate in psychology her salary would struggle to rise above $24K per year.

As it would be revealed many years later, she would end up as an Assistant to the Dean making between $50-60K per year and full state benefits.  Not to mention the ten thousand paid holidays, paid vacation, sick leave, state retirement, automatic pay increases not for performance, but longevity along with all the other perks associated with a cushy, secure (as you can get), state job at a major university.

What the "pit-bull" didn't count on was my challenge to the accusations and that I had documentation to validate my position.

The first challenge was her "loss of income" due to being "laid off".  In her perjured, sworn and notarized statement of financial affairs, she was still employed the prior week before the hearing.  That is until the previous Friday.  When she was cornered on the exact date of her separation and the circumstances it finally smoked out that she voluntarily resigned. 

When pressed about the perjured financial statement and the bias remarks she inserted to influence the court, the judge told my lawyer to back off since it upset her.

Never mind she admitted that even though she was suppose to put the actual values for her expenses on the financial disclosure, she had put what she wanted them to be.  When the totals for all the categories were calculated, it was discovered she was spending at least $1500 per month more than she had available.  One category, clothing, she claimed to spend $800 per month for our four sons.  Then she inserted the remark, "The Children are in desperate need of winter clothes".  Funny we never spent that when we were together.  Maybe $200-300 at the start of school and a few other times during the year, but not $800 per month, EVERY month - we shopped at Target and Wal-Mart, NOT Macy's!

I had wanted to change careers a few months back and would have made about the same level of income, but I was threatened by the court and the lawyers with a contempt and fraud charge because it would have the appearance I was "dodging my responsibilities".  I explained I was employed in my current field because of the manipulations of my soon to be ex and I wanted to move to a different field that would have equivalent pay and was more compatible with my long range goals.

Of course she got nothing but sympathy from the court and a larger award.

The next challenge I presented was the claim of putting me through school.  I worked a full time job, a part time job, and went to school full time sleeping about three hours a day for six and one half years. Yes, she did work some in the latter part of my education and I did pull back from full time to 3/4 time and a part time job while going to school full time.  This was to allow for more time for the tougher, more time consuming upper level courses.

I produced the tax returns and the W2's to validate my position.  The court just dismissed them as "irrelevant".

When the court was done they had assessed me for 110% of my gross income.  When I pointed this out, the court and the "pit-bull" told me to get a part-time job.  I pointed out it was against my current employer's policy to allow employees in our division to have a second job.  We were on-call seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day and compensated for the requirement.  In addition, I was not only commanding an above average salary, but the assessment was unattainable since it was more than my gross income and I couldn't work a second job.  In addition, I had to pay rent, utilities, food, and had other debts that had to be serviced. 

The state had the unrealistic idea of "maintaining the same standard of living for the children" even though the income levels had changed and now two households had to be maintained from the same income.

The court reconsidered and much to the disgruntlement of the "pit-bull" and my soon to be ex adjusted my judgment to 90% of my gross income.

Of Course, the court and the "pit-bull" made no effort to allow access to my children.  If they did then I would owe less money.  Never mind they and my soon to be ex are fracturing the parent child bond between us.  This is legalized child abuse and denial of parental rights.  Welcome to the world of the perverted system.  As one lawyer pointed out, "it's not about justice, right or wrong, good or evil, it's just a system and a very broken one at that."

On the way out of the courtroom my lawyer patted himself on the back for such a good job.  I fired his ass leaving him standing on the street corner in the rain.  I later reported him to the bar, but like all the other scum bags that support the system, they just made excuses and dismissed the issue.

Reminds me of another Don Henley song, "End of Innocence":

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standing by
When "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details...

But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by man...

Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details...

Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

I'm having to look at some other options.  In this state, if you don't pay 100% of the court order it's the same as not paying at all, even if you somehow make 95% of the payment.  Never mind that the order is unattainable and you've been classified as a "deadbeat, asshole, scumbag dad" and get what ever you deserve.  This means jail time, garnishment of your paycheck and the stigma associated with the garnishment and many times loss of employment, loss of security clearances needed to remain employed, seizure of your unemployment and food stamps, seizure of your IRA, 401(k), or any other retirement funds, seizure of any other income such as rent, royalties, and bonuses, suspension of driver's and professional licenses, seizure of property, bank accounts, and tax returns, denial of passports, fines, labeling you as a "deadbeat dad" and posting your picture on Web sites, billboards, bumper stickers, etc. and of course continuing to assess you for current and back child support and 28% interest EVEN though you've been stripped of the resources to pay because you couldn't comply with the unrealistic and unattainable demands of the "unfamily" court and the system that supports it.

I will learn and experience later that Support Enforcement doesn't need a court order to do these things - they've been granted the power to execute enforcement actions without the "interference" of the court.  A minimally trained clerk just fills out the form justified or not, correct or not and it will take months before the unfamily court hears the complaint.  In the meantime, you and yours get to suffer the consequences from the actions.  When the unfamily court finally hears the issue, even though they find it was unjustified or incorrect, at best you'll get a new order with no penalties against Support Enforcement - of course, it's just a show since they support each other and are accountable to none but themselves.

I will do all I can to support my children and be part of their lives even if I have to do it out of reach of the "pit-bull", my soon to be ex, and the injustice system.  I will not submit to the abusive and unjust treatment from the system and I will fight them until the end.

I found a picture that represents the mold they're trying to force me into:

ARTICLES:

 Stealing The Minds of Our Children

Vengeful Mothers Deny Fathers

Turning Children Into Tools of Hate

Grandparents Ask for Access

Deadbeat Dads

  

Bad Moon Rising - 5/15/96

I have pretty much settled into my new living space and have tried to continue with my "exercises" my counselor gave me to recover my identity.  As I have discovered, my soon to be ex-wife is not only a manipulative control freak, but she is a serious boundary violator.  She has no respect or sense of other people's personal space.  I had no time to myself, no mail unopened, no phone call unmonitored, no wallet or portfolio rummaged through, no drawer unsearched, and no time or money spent that I didn't have to provide a detailed accounting for.  These things were a regular activity for her.  The worst part was any time spent with my children as father and son time never went without the "warden" monitoring our every movement and activity.  Of course the "warden" had to voice her disapproval of the situation and make degrading remarks about how their father contributed to the "delinquency" of his sons.

Our situation didn't happen over night.  It took over a decade and a half to get to this seriously dysfunctional relationship.  Unknown to myself, I was her "project" to be molded and shaped into her idea of the "perfect" husband and father.  The transition was so subtle it was like boiling frogs in water.

If you place a frog in a pot of boiling water he'll hop right out.  If you place the frog in room temperature water and slowly raise the heat to boiling the frog ether won't notice or will notice too late because they are cold blooded.  Likewise, if I had been told up front I was her "project" that needed to be "fixed" I would have jumped out of the pot.  Instead, it was a subtle raising of the water temperature until it was too late.

The counselor helped me to see that I had been stripped of my identity, I truly couldn't answer his simple questions of what did I like to do for leisure, hobbies, sports, movies, books, etc. - at least not without her input.  What were my views on any issues or how did I feel about certain situations.  I had been stripped down to just going to work and busting ass for my family and doing anything else requested of me by my spouse.  We aren't talking about a regular 40 hour work week.  That wouldn't cut it for all the things she wanted.  We're talking about a 60-80 hour work week and then all the extras at home for the "family".  Since all paychecks were electronically deposited and she took care of the bills I NEVER saw my compensation for my efforts.  This created a further disconnect and made me feel like I was on the squeaky hamster wheel of work.

This "program" started from the very beginning of our marriage when our first child came along in our first year.  She didn't really want to work and we both felt it would be best for the children if their mother raised them.  I was willing to take a second, full time job working 80 hours/week to do my part in our plan.  Later it became evident that I was going to have to return to school to get a degree to earn something more than a starving wage with two full time jobs.  For the next 3.5 years I worked a full time job, a part time job, and went to school full time getting about 3 hours of broken up sleep a day.  The last 2.5 years of school I had to drop back from full time job to 3/4 time and part time job because the classes were much harder and required more time.  I still only got about 3 hours of broken up sleep a day.  My spouse was able to get a part time job to make up the hours I wasn't working.

When we were done I had a B.S. in Computer Science/Engineering and an A.S. in Avionic Systems (Aviation Electronics).  I also had worked about 6 years as an Electronic Technician so I not only had the book knowledge, but I had hands on applied knowledge.

I got a much better position and better pay, but I got back on the 60 hour work week hamster wheel.  It took 3-5 years to "pay your dues" in my new field and advance to the next position and pay level.  My spouse was very impatient and wanted the "big bucks" now.  In order to comply I joined groups and projects that would advance my abilities and career at something more than "impulse power".  In addition, I started working on my masters in computer Engineering.  Of course I was also making sure I allocated time with my family - I thought I was suppose to get more time now that I'm out of the school grind?  It seemed that I had less time and no time for myself.

After a period of time I got "lost" in the hamster wheel from the Twilight Zone and over a period of time I had lost touch of everything.  All I knew was work, work, work, and more work.  All I heard were demands, demands, demands and b*tch, B*tch, b*itch - no matter how hard I tried or how good it was done it was never enough or good enough.

What I figured out and learned later - both about the same time, that no matter how much I did, she would never be happy because she wasn't happy with herself.  Even worse, she was programming the children with the same expectations and ideas.

Much to her annoyance the counselor made her back off and provided me with an environment to explore who I was and where did I want to go with my life.  He set me on a course to regain my identify that had been striped from me over the many years by my soon to be ex-wife.

I restarted my new course shortly after I got settle in by going to a local celebration of the founding of a historic town near my new home.  It was a cloudy day, but it was nice to get out and walk the streets that were lined with booths and listen to the music.  After my dogs and I got back home I felt like a nap.  We had a warm breeze blowing in the window and the sun had now appeared.  I noticed lately I was taking a lot of naps.  I didn't realize how much wear and tear all the years had on me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Next week we would go on a camping trip and with any luck I could take my sons.  That of course would depend on how things turned out with her new lawyer.  My lawyer was finally happy because my soon to be ex-wife hired a lawyer shortly after she was served the divorce papers.  Things weren't looking too good.  In fact, it looked like anything we had worked out was now going to be reworked.  My soon to be ex-wife and her lawyer were trying to use my time with the children as leverage to get me to agree to unreasonable/unrealistic conditions.

Even though this is illegal and in many states considered felony child abuse the system just "overlooks" the situation.  I am determined to continue down this path.  The longer I'm away from her the more I am able to see just how much control she had.  When I'm shopping I still catch myself thinking of the justification I'll have to provide if I buy this item.  Then I "slap" myself when I realize I'm not accountable to her and its none of her business.  As long as I'm paying my support and helping to take care of my children all these other things are NONE of her business.

I have a VERY BAD feeling about all of this.  Our first "temporary" orders hearing is set in a couple of months.  I've seen other people I know get screwed over in these and the final orders hearings.

The other problem I'm having with my soon to be ex-wife is the new bags she's trying to pack for my next "guilt trip".  I refuse to take it.  One minute she's all "loving" and the next she's an evil B*tch bent on my suffering and extermination.  Added to that she's trying to "guess" what was the one thing that set me off so I would "pack up and leave my loving family".  She just doesn't get it - it's not just one thing - it's a multitude of things over the 15+ years.  It's the fact that we both have to have "equal" footing and treat each other as "equals" to make this work out.  I'm treated well below everyone else in the family, I'm just the "walking paycheck" slave that came from a "dysfunctional family" and have "NO clue on how to be a proper parent or husband".  My place is at work making money - her place is at home eating bon-bons and controlling the money and the home/world.

Her plan as she described it to me was to "make my life so miserable that I'd come crawling back or if I didn't I'd be punished".

I only hope all this arguing between the lawyers will diminish and we'll get to negotiated solutions so we can have final orders in a few months not temporary orders.  I know this is a lot to hope for, but I'm concerned about how much damage this is doing to our children.  We need to get past this point quickly so we can move to more positive aspects.

ARTICLES:

Best and Worst Cities For Divorce

Kids As Weapons

No More Tug Of War 

How To Deal With Toxic Parents

Best Laid Plans - 5/1/96

After two weeks in the cabin the dogs and I moved into the campground with a tent trailer. Even though the trailer was heated it was still cold with the spring snowstorms and wind. We spent the next two and a half weeks anticipating the time we could move to our new home. April was spent with endless meetings with my lawyer, trying to work out issues and agreements with my soon to be ex-spouse, and of course working.

I did manage to spend some time with my children during this hectic time. We would go out for part of the day, have lunch, and talk about the situation and the future. I am anxious for the day they can spend a few days at a time with me in our new home.

Finally, it's moving day! After snowing the past few days it is a warm, sunny spring day. The current tenants are finishing their move this morning and we can move in later this morning.

It has been a LONG, frustrating month legally and emotionally. My soon to be ex-wife has tried to pack my bags many times for a "guilt trip", but I've not left for the trip. To her frustration, I've kept her focused on the issues that are specific to completing the divorce and moving forward with our healing and starting our new life journeys.

She of course has gyrated from the extremes of oozing with "love and sweetness" to "rampaging b*tch" bent on revenge, control, and punishment. This has been a "normal" condition through much of our marriage, but it has intensified after she determined I was serious this time about NOT coming back.

Twice in 1995, I had moved out when she refused to get serious about resolving the issues in our relationship. Just to get her to the counselor I would have to give her the choice of seeing the counselor or if she wasn't serious about our relationship it would be the lawyer to end it. Both times in 1995 she begged and pleaded for me to return to my "loving family" and that we'd work things out in our relationship. Both times I returned, but it was more attributed to the fact that I wasn't ready to leave my children yet.

I knew the way the new laws had been written, observing other people going through divorce, and her mindset, she would use the access to my children as a weapon for control, punishment, and revenge. The system would empower her and support her in this effort of "judicial kidnapping". In return she would "prostitute" herself as their "poster child" and my children would be used as the "justification" for their actions. They would get nothing in return except heartache, bitterness, broken parent/child bonds, and emotionally/mentally injured until they were fortunate enough to get help to work through the issues.

Currently, my insurance covered counseling, but my soon to be ex-wife refused to have the "stigma" of "her" (not our) children in counseling. She was a psychology major and could "handle" all our children's needs - never mind she had serious needs of her own.

I had used the tables provided by the court and had calculated the amount of child support that would be ordered. It would be a couple of months before we got to our first hearing so I added $300-400 to the calculated amount, paid everyone's health, dental, and vision expenses, all deductibles and non-covered expenses, and of course all the "extra" last minute that children seem to come up with.

We would have to sell the house even though I offered to sign my portion over to her. With her current job, she couldn't qualify for the loan unless she had her mother cosign with her - something she didn't want to "bother" her mother with. That's an issue we'd address later this month.

Later that evening I moved the last load of everything into our "new" home. I was tired and hungry so the dogs and I went to get something to eat. I'd go shopping tomorrow. I have another meeting with my lawyer Friday and I'm suppose to talk with my spouse Friday evening to work some more issues out and set up a time to have the children over for some overnight visitations. They wanted to come up to the campground and spend a few nights with me, but mom didn't like that idea - it might be fun and forbid they have a relationship with dad. This had been the status quo for years - She viewed parenting as a "popularity/control" contest. She wanted all the control and popularity, and did all she could to interfere with my relationship with our sons. In her opinion I was suppose to work and earn the money and she was suppose to control everything.

Each week in April I had at least two meetings a week with the lawyer. He was burning through the retainer and wanted more money. The only thing he had done was file the divorce and required paperwork, served the divorce papers on my soon to be ex-wife, and rehashed the same issues at each meeting. I now had moved him to a once a week meeting at most. I just got his first bill and he has charged me for paper clips, pencils, copies, time on the phone, and other frivolous charges.

One charge he has repeatedly made is for his time on the phone. He would call and leave a voice mail with a question that was already in a file I had left that he didn't want to open or he had taken down in his notes during a conference. Sometimes he would ask the same question multiple times. Each time he would charge me for 15 minutes of time even though the total time was less than 3 minutes.

When we meet Friday he will be backing out the charges and ONLY charge for "legitimate" charges. Also, I will be dropping copy paper, paper clips, staples, pencils, tape, and other items off. It is cheaper for me to provide them than to get hit with his inflated charges.

Every time we meet I wipe the smile off his face when he asks if my wife has a lawyer. I found out later that lawyers aren't happy if they aren't sucking money out of their clients. The best way to do that is another lawyer to fight with. A divorce is already a highly charged situation and the system just makes it worse with the current processes in order to justify their existence and secure their incomes and positions.

Many people think the "injustice" system is about truth, justice, fairness, application of the law, etc. What I was discovering is that its just a "system" for making money and creating employment - its a very broken system if it's measured in actual "service and deliverables" to the clients.

If we are truly interested in a "system" that works better than what is currently in place, the courts and lawyers should be the last groups involved in the last phases of the divorce process and only have proportional involvement according to the needs of the situation.

Our system of "injustice" has its roots in the British, "adversarial" design that requires that one side is a winner and the other a loser. The premise is the strongest side (assumed to be the good/right/truth) will be the victor. In a divorce everyone is a loser, but in the current legal environment the dad has already been the "designated big loser". The determination that has yet to be made by the court is how much (usually everything) and for how long (the rest of your life if they can).

I'm having a hard time understanding why the counselor thinks this is a good path, but staying in this toxic relationship is not a good choice ether. It's a dark road, but I think I see some light at the end of the tunnel - or is that the "deadbeat express" coming down the track driven by my soon to be ex-wife?

What Is That Light At The End Of The Tunnel - Hope OR Something Else??

ARTICLES:

Devastated By Divorce Court

Kids Hard Hit In Nasty Divorce

Divorced Dads Can't Catch a Break